I’m having a lot of trouble staying regular with my practice.
I’m still having a lot of trouble staying regular with my practice. I’ve been really bad this week. Procrastination is just a huge problem for me with everything I do, including this meditation stuff. I’m feeling really frustrated.
Have you been REALLY BAD? What would it look like if you were really good? Maybe if you meditated an hour every day? How about an hour twice a day? Then you’d be REALLY GOOD! Is there any gray space in between? It’s so hard to avoid making these kinds of judgments. I find that the standards we hold ourselves to for being “good” are usually absurdly high. For example, I think that signing up for this class and coming to the sessions is extremely good. Most people wouldn’t even move that far in the direction of personal growth and greater awareness. A less judgmental way of thinking about this is to notice it felt hard to get started with meditation and be curious about what strategies you can employ to get through that.
Which brings us to the whole issue of procrastination, which is a huge issue for many students. Procrastination often arises because the thought of getting started with our task is too unpleasant and aversive, maybe because the task seems too hard or maybe because it doesn’t seem very interesting or maybe just because we don’t know where to start. Often the thoughts that go along with this have to do with thinking about how long it will take to finish or how hard it will be to get it perfect. What are the thoughts you have when you notice you are procrastinating on getting started on meditation? Are they similar to the thoughts you have when you are procrastinating on some other task?